This is a low point

How will I ever know?

I won't.

I know you care. But I just want the support. I seek approval, I still seek approval. To feel that I have done right in your eyes. That what I want is not stupid. That my decision is an okay decision to make. That I can decide on my own because I know what I'm doing. 

I despise the feeling of self doubt. 

Yet I go through it every day. 

So I hide. I withdraw. I go out and laugh and not feel what I feel. 

I'm sorry, I'm terrible at being a daughter and a sister. I'm glad they make you proud.

So I hide once again. 

Whats wrong with me?

I'm not needed. I'm just there. I'm just mass and matter taking up space. 

Who am I?

What am I?

I'm just mass and matter, taking up space.