gosh..I'm feeling the exhaustion, not physically but mentally. A lot of thoughts coming in and made quite a mess in my head. I laughed and cried at the same time but I had to control my tears, just so I won't start crying. It's funny but can't help feel a little dislike to it because topics that I'm sensitive about. So I just try to keep the crying to a minimum and maximize laughter.
This is general but I just can't help but feel overly annoyed by some people, from what I see on Facebook and stuff. I don't know, it's just so damn disagreeable to me. I've always wanted to express my annoyance but kept pulling back and thinking twice because what is the point of it? It's not worth fueling that emotion, and certainly not worth the effort you have to go through to just say how much you dislike it.
I think this time alone isn't such a bad thing. Yes, I do miss having people around but I rather have it like this than to be with people I'm not comfortable with. What I like is that I can be vocal about it and say so what? The thing I regret was not being more vocal and to defend myself and just won't tolerate any of the crap that was thrown to me. I realised how important it was for me to do that.
I've been bullied before and throughout a great part of my college life I was socially harassed before (yes, the term for it is Social Harassment ). Those who did it might not admit it, probably think what they did was just for fun and most definitely think that they did not do any wrong. I won't say I was all right either but I can't help but feel that I have not done anything wrong to deserve such "treatment".
Well this didn't just happened to me, but it happened to others too. I guess mine was pretty bad. I probably could laugh it off now but things will never be the same. It made me see so many things, definitely opened my eyes. Caused me to be at my lowest point so far but what is life without being knocked down. The important thing is you are able to get back on your two feet. Though slow, shaky, but at least you have to get back up. Sometimes it is okay if you make a decision to not be friends with people who you think are not worth the friendship. Take a stand for yourself. Many things I should have done to save myself but I made the wrong decisions, wrong judgement and I didn't take a stand for myself.
I couldn't help wonder that we're all humans, and how sad it is to actually witness the need of people to make other people feel pain or discomfort to feel satisfied or happy about themselves. What makes other peoples worth any lesser than yours? There is always a prejudice towards one another, there is always a dislike when it's against the things we want but who are we to harm/hurt others? Who gave us such powers?
Anyway, it is just an opinion of mine to express. Feeling very reflective at the moment...lol
like how my dad taught me...even to those you made your life difficult, always wish them best. so...just a shout out for those who made my life difficult at one point, All the Best~