Fingers Crossed

Where has it all gone?

So much energy focused on trying to pick up the pieces and put them together again. It's all gone and I'm trying to put it back together. Part of me know that I won't get back the same thing and part of me wishes that it never happened in the first place.

I remember when I used to feel like I have everything in my hands and there is nothing more I could ask for. I guess I slacked at maintaining that. Now I think I could actually count the times when I was actually glad.

Am I falling too deep again?
Many times I wished that I wasn't here and many times I wished I would be stronger.

Perhaps it's just a phase(again)
Perhaps I'm not doing something in order for me to resolve this.
Perhaps this is telling me something. A decision.
No one can understand the level of this emotionally. Period.

shit. level of negative emotion just increased a notch.

This is going to be tough..

Not going to wish for something too much now. Fingers crossed that I could just find myself again before I aim to tackle anything elsee...