Doing this for me

I've been getting the same advice over and over and over again.

I do appreciate the advice a lot and I'm really sorry that I have to be reminded and that those words have to be repeated to me again. Long winded.

I'm in need of a change. I hope the winds will change it's course starting now. I don't want it to be tomorrow or even 10 minutes later. Yes, change is definitely needed. Read some of my past entries again. No worries, I did not touch those touchy touchy post. Now is not the time to dwell on it again.

Nowadays I'm starting to question of my interest in Interior Design. Well, it has been in my thoughts for a very very long time. I guess, interest is not good enough to determined whether or not you are passionate. But since I'm going to be done by February, I keep telling myself I should just get it done. The fact that this is my last project...in MIA. Before venturing into another unknown, discovering new experiences. I should just make it worthwhile.

Though lately, I have been avoiding my work, probably the fact that I don't want to face it. I don't want to deal with it. Yes, running away. Yes, a very very bad solution. 

The whole phrase has to change. This has to be done for oneself and no other. Meaning, I'm doing this for me. Whether the outcome is good or bad, boring or interesting. Screw whether I'm good or not, screw what my future is going to be like. It's too damn tiring to think about it all the time. (because I constantly do that~ )

It's good to prepare some thought for it but at the same time...its not so good lar.

I don't think I've ever mention what am I doing for my final project. The title I chose is Green Community Library. Yup, designing a small library, a big one is just too huge to handle. I'm dedicating this to my love for reading and in addressing the core issue which is reading habits here (and how insufficient or intolerable our libraries are)

Basically, initially I have these thoughts of how I imagined it to be...and I felt and it seems I went spiraling down. Now, I'm trying to just pick myself up again..just give it a try. After talking to a friend yesterday, I guess the situation kind of improved a little bit. Today, I made a crazy decision to drive back here even though I have class tomorrow morning. But who cares, as long as I'm happy and don't hurt anyone in the process. I doubt anyone gives a shit about what I'm doing anyway. 

I'm kind of excited yet nervous about Friday, I'm going off somewhere alone! I don't really fancy going there alone but I think it will be a good experience to go through. At least I think it will be educational and beneficial. Knowledge wise. 

Boy, this is a long one, its been a long time since I rambled this much. 

I need change.. a chance to renew and rejuvenate myself. Action speak louder than words. Saying is not enough. Doing is what makes a difference. 

I hope by the next long entry, it will be news that show some improvement. =)

With much love,