Ramblings of an insomiac

sometimes I wondered if any of these was a mistake.


how can something you thought was right felt so wrong?
psycho'ing myself into believing that these is all right until I've lost the knowing whether all this is true.

but if I could look at it at a different way. Accept it in a different manner. Things might just turn out interesting. I hope.


Gem wondered if she should just let it out...no, not fart..

She wondered if she should just let out what she truly feels. Gosh, so many things are going through her mind. To tell you the truth, I think her thoughts alone could actually lead her to insanity. Like serious cuckoo mania.

I wonder how she managed to keep herself sane.

Gem keep on dreaming and hoping, harsh reality is; chances are freaking slim. Slimmer than butter paper. Mind you, butter paper is not edible paper.

Another thing bothering her, she wondered what her future could be like. Gem dreamt of big things ever since she was young. She did not dream of the exact career she would be in but she did dream of the ideal person she wants to be. Part of her dream has nothing related to what she is doing now. That is why it is worrying her. She wants her dream to be a reality...she wants to know and wants to feel what it is like to be that ideal her.. Would she like it? Would she detest it? But she doesn't even know what it is. 

They say dreams change. But one have to know oneself as clear as possible to even achieve that sort of satisfaction or goals. Now the question comes to mind, how does Gem know if she has known herself well enough?

Life questions.

Gem thinks growing up is tough. Sometimes it's so hard that she wished she was not a part of it. But recently Gem realised that in some way, nobody grows up. Sometimes children act the way they are, and grown people think it is cute or intelligent. But grown up act the way they are and others think it's childish. Any sense? yes..both parties act the same way. So you can say that children=adults with better developed body parts and more influenced by society. 


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