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Wednesday, 8 September 2010

Let me see how to begin this post.


It's not a review, it is not something interesting I saw or read. It's not even about a place I went.


These are words typed out from my fingers that came from the thoughts and emotions of my mind. 


I feel like I'm being tested. Few days ago I got so annoyed and mad. Somehow it just trigger the annoyance in me. I just feel like everything is just one whole big mess. Fucked up human nature. *forgive my foul language* I'm just pissed. =/


I'm afraid I might go insane cuz of all the debate and justification I have to tell myself. It's still a struggle to maintain the strength of my emotion. But it doesn't feel as though I'm loosing a battle, it's feels like I will get by. I'm just not sure if I can take the process or how the process of me getting through might affect me. 


I'm not suppose to be blogging. But I just can't take it. I don't want to call anyone because I can guarantee that I will cry. Which I don't want to because I promised myself that I will not cry over such things again. Typing out like this, I bet you that many people won't even bother reading. =)


I feel like avoiding, it makes me feel safe. Putting myself into that situation I'm afraid its going to ruin me. Right now I can't tell whether it's like putting a cat in a dog living neighbourhood or the cat is just one messed up kitty. I guess I can only know when I look at it as a 3rd person's point of view.


At some point, I don't really care if people thing I'm messed up. I will live my life the way I would like it. Achieve the goals that I set for myself. Life is only worth living if you lived it through your own journey, your own expectations.


Argh..I can feel the annoyance building up.


To feel annoyed means I still am thinking about it. But at least I'm annoyed enough to do something to solve it.. 


Okay,


I think all these are just testing me. Testing how I would tackle this..this THING! I accept this "challenge" I would really like to see where this take me. 


No more mental exhaustion! I've had enough..I can't wait for tomorrow to come...I need to take my mind off things. 



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