5th July 2010

Dear blog,

I skipped CAD class today, well to be exact Photoshop Class. *shhhhhh* I just decided to skip class today, I want to spend more time at home. 

I'm having writer's block. I type out the words and it makes no sense to me, it doesn't convey the thoughts I want to convey or express the things I want to share. Okay, I'll begin like this, I feel really off tracked these 2 weeks or more. I don't really have an idea why, maybe the magic is lost or somewhat I feel robotic about it. The thing that excites me is dimming.. I need to re-fuel it and ignite it. I got distracted by something else. 

I feel like I'm slacking, but then again, what am I slacking? Right now, what I'm going through is internship and preparation for Japan trip. Why do I feel like I have to worry so much? I'm am not a full time working employee, I am still a student. So if I could lift it up, I should know how to let it go. =) That's me consoling and injecting some sense into that odd mind of mine. haha 

But yeah, I feel lazy and un-progressive, so I have about 12 days to get myself feeling energetic and excited again. Why 12 days? I left 12 days to prepare for Japan, I haven't had any feelings about it, like I don't feel anything about it at all. Except a few moments when I immersed myself in the fact that I am going to Japan. I guess in a way, it helps me to stay calm and not overly excited and think about it 24/7. 

Saturday, I went to Times Square alone, *please don't think that it is a pity that I'm going out alone* It's good to be alone sometimes. Most of the time I enjoy the walk alone to the LRT station and to work, sometimes it's nice to have company around you. It's just a balance. I'm used to being alone a lot when I was younger, so I actually felt awkward when I'm around a lot of people. I don't know if that has changed or not. Anyway, going to Times Square, I have to admit, I feel damn outdated. Haha I don't hang out in shopping malls (never really did anyway) anymore and I don't follow fashion trends anymore either. 

Like when I was in secondary school, we always read Seventeen(when it was good to read) Cleo Mag etc and checked out our favourite brands. Girls were crazy of Roxy at one point. I was too but luckily I can't afford to be that crazy over it. Freaking expensive! I went to TS in sneakers, jeans skirt and a top that I have since I was 16. Time Square and Sungei Wang was loaded with youths! (majority were punks and lala's) I just went there to checked out Borders, Metrojaya BB plaza and books from Basheer. 

Everyone there was in groups and couples. All shapes and sizes and colours. I can't even recognise their age, some are so young with heels and make up. Dressed up really mature..(omg I talked like I'm so old) But seriously, maybe a few years ago, when I was a teenager maybe the situation was exactly like that. 

The only thing I bought from Borders was this really nice notebook, I really love it. It's my journal for my experience in Japan. It's pricey, usually I wouldn't fork out that money for a notebook like this but I gave myself an exception. Basheer has something I would want to get too! But I'll save it for later, gotta practice self control on buying books..I'm gonna read up on the book that Khairul asked me to buy first. It's a waste if I don't read it and up until now, I think it's quite a good book to read. When I'm about done then I'll get the other two =P 

Alright,I just realised that this is how I used to write, write as though I'm just writing to myself. I don't have to make myself succumb to the lastest trend of blogging or how other people blog. It's less strenuous on myself to think of ways to please people because we can't please everyone.

okay,I have to stop now and get ready to go back. I think that is enough of words to bore people to death. 

Something interesting might come up in the next few days *wink*

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