Think of it in another perspective.
I'm feel very troubled since yesterday night. Unconsciously my thoughts are provoking me and driving me towards the edge. I can't sleep and I wake up too early.
Even when I manage to go back to sleep, dreams haunt me. I wake up feeling like the dreams never left. I don't even feel as though I've slept.
Diagnosis? Signs of stress and worry?
I actually felt nervous today. I mean like what the hell is there to be nervous about? Another thing, I really want to ramble this off. Just put on some ear plugs or sun glasses so you won't have to see these words written. I feel like it is unfair, the amount of time I spend... but it all comes down to that. I'm so effin pissed off. No matter what I do, how I do it.And just one time..ONE TIME...I just slipped off a little. It's as though what was done before just vanished...it just doesn't seem right. I feel so bitter. I feel that its wasted. What I do, what I try to do never seems right. I want to curl up and cry. Before that I want to hurl something down the 7th floor of my balcony first.
In order to save myself from these bitter misery, I looked at it at a different angle. What I did, was for my own good and benefit. It made me feel good. So that is just my way of doing it. I have to stand on my own ground. Believe in what I believe. It's sad, that the effort you put in and people just brush off just like that. Maybe it seems like I never put enough effort, but this time I'm going to stand strong to what I feel. I feel like I did.
Just came back. I feel a lot better now.
Just think of things in a different way. Reason with oneself about think about it in another angle. It help loads and just find people to talk about anything. Helps a lot.
Whatever it is. Don't give up. Can't give up.