Thursday, 22 April 2010

Stand on your own ground

Think of it in another perspective.

I'm feel very troubled since yesterday night. Unconsciously my thoughts are provoking me and driving me towards the edge. I can't sleep and I wake up too early.

Even when I manage to go back to sleep, dreams haunt me. I wake up feeling like the dreams never left. I don't even feel as though I've slept.

Diagnosis? Signs of stress and worry?

I actually felt nervous today. I mean like what the hell is there to be nervous about? Another thing, I really want to ramble this off. Just put on some ear plugs or sun glasses so you won't have to see these words written. I feel like it is unfair, the amount of time I spend... but it all comes down to that. I'm so effin pissed off. No matter what I do, how I do it.And just one time..ONE TIME...I just slipped off a little. It's as though what was done before just vanished...it just doesn't seem right. I feel so bitter. I feel that its wasted. What I do, what I try to do never seems right. I want to curl up and cry. Before that I want to hurl something down the 7th floor of my balcony first.

In order to save myself from these bitter misery, I looked at it at a different angle. What I did, was for my own good and benefit. It made me feel good. So that is just my way of doing it. I have to stand on my own ground. Believe in what I believe. It's sad, that the effort you put in and people just brush off just like that. Maybe it seems like I never put enough effort, but this time I'm going to stand strong to what I feel. I feel like I did.

Just came back. I feel a lot better now.

Just think of things in a different way. Reason with oneself about think about it in another angle. It help loads and just find people to talk about anything. Helps a lot.

Whatever it is. Don't give up. Can't give up.

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