it came back again.

i wonder, if this time it is for real.

thoughts gushed through my mind all of a sudden.

i stopped breathing.again.

a small partial hope is there.

but i have to block block and just block.

i've been through this before.

idarenotassume

if i do.

it's going to hurt.

alot.

what irony, i have thoughts of wanting to go through pain just so i would really feel what is it like. yet, we do anything just to prevent ourselves from feeling any pain.

emotionally

physically

fill my mind up. don't leave it empty.

let my hand hold something. never leave it bare.

finding the right words to describe. it's not joy. it's not sadness.

glad.grateful.happy

I don't know. Can I just push all of this away and just immersed myself into something else.

I'm afraid to free fall. Afraid to free fall into something where there is nothing to hold me back.

.......................................................................................................................................................

well I don't know. Seriously this is a cue for me to start getting busy again! haha.. I can't find 2 of my most favourite hair band. Glossy white and matte black.

Meet Barry! My new companion. =)

with love