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Tuesday, 4 August 2009

I'm okay. I'm going to be okay.

That's what I tell myself. But what if I am not okay? There's always a way. I know there is. But is it suppose to feel this way?

I want to give up but I don't want to give up. One minute I feel so good and the next minute I feel really down and feel like there is no where to go. I wish I wasn't on this face of this earth. I wish I never existed. I wish that there wasn't an "I" because I feel this person, like this soul that is occupying this body does not deserve to feel this way. Why did this soul have such an owner? I feel like it should have gone to someone more deserving.

I am going to get through this but why does it have to feel this way now? I feel as though I am going to let everyone down. I don't want to do that. I really want to keep on going. Keep striving. I want to come out of this and say that I'm glad I stuck through it. I know it's there, I know it will come to me.

But this is tough, this is real tough.. the biggest obstacle I have to overcome is right now. My very own self. One of the most excruciating feeling. I just hope I would be able to go through it.
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