all the ups and downs is making me really dizzy, confused, tired, frustrated and just down right disorientated.

I'm glad and grateful for all the up moments, I understood that there has to be down moments. Just feeling the insecurities and then things got a little brighter. I can't type much, I don't know what to express. The things are the same, at the end of the day, nobody would get it. Because nobody is me and I'm not anyone else. If I say I'm sad, do you know how sad? Can you feel how sad? Do you know what kind of sadness?

No.

You only know I'm sad because I said I'm sad or that I showed an expression of sadness.

How to be comfortable with myself and I don't even really like myself. I want to sleep and never wake up yet I want to be awake and never go to sleep.

I'm not going to give up just yet... it's not over.