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Thursday, 25 June 2009

I'm afraid I'll put an end to it and things won't be so pretty anymore.

getting sick of these.


getting tired of it.


it ain't funny honey...



many times, thoughts run through my mind. Thoughts about everything. Things I don't speak out does not mean it's not in my mind. Wondering whether other people think about the things I thought about.



I don't say much.



One day, will I explode?

One day, will I turn into someone unimaginable?

One day, will I be someone who I thought I would never be or someone I would never want to be?


questions, questions and more questions.


People whispering here and there. You are always there. You want to know. You know you won't know. Nobody bothers. Nobody cares.


So should you bother? should you care?


I just ignore. By wanting to know, by asking...it might seem desperate. But then..do I really care?



I may not care. Sometimes I don't give a shit so what are you going to do about it? But I can't always act that way, I may seem cold. But I don't think I am. People just don't get it.


others may care..but care in what sense? I may not seem to care about I care a lot about other things.


others may care but they don't care about a lot of things.


It's all so confusing. I wish someone can just tell me. Just like a yes - no question or a right - wrong answer. Things would be so much more simpler!!!



Am I always picking up after people? I tend to feel that I do.I take it seriously about the things that I think it's important. I feel selfish...I feel ppl think that I'm selfish.. you may think I'm writing all these bullshit..sounds fake yada yada. Oh well..


But it's not my intention to come of like that.

I don't know what to think now. I just feel disorientated... Everyday is becoming less of a struggle and a battle. But at times...my will just tumbles and it comes back. I have to make myself go against it. That is living. Living is tough.

you can ignore all these. just one of those days you know? =)

xoxo

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