Dear blog

Dear blog,
I don't get it. I thought after so long, I thought I have finally found myself. Found what I'm meant to do and just being satisfied.

Now, it's gone..or atleast I'm on the verge of loosing it all. I'm starting to loose myself again. There is something going on, which is killing me emotionally. I really need to break out of it. I need me back. I've lost myself.

I really don't want to shed another tear. All these things I've said, why am I behaving this way. I know why..But sometimes I think there is something else bothering me. I need to find out because this emotional burden is really too heavy for me to carry. Honestly, I know in the end when I come out of it, it is just petty things. I'm also tired of explaining why am I like this. It's not helping me at all. I'm not progressing from it..I'm not stimulating closure. It's becoming an excuse.

This is tough, one minute I seem to be okay and the next I could be in tears. Why do I find it so hard to open up? why why why~~~ =(