I'm finally home. After 2 weeks of staying out, I'm finally home. It feels good. My bed feels like heaven. Am I dead? haha no, I'm just home.
Now that I'm home, I miss the place over there. Now I'm contemplating whether I should shift in earlier or just stick to the original month. Even my dad agrees, I'm feeling so relieved that they finally understood how I feel for the past year during my foundation. No matter how I try to explain they could try to understand and be sympathetic but they won't know the exact feeling I go through. But now they do, =) I'm just glad.
I don't know how to continue this post. Where should I begin?
Should I update about where I went today?
Should I update about what I feel?
I have a feeling of wanting to be emo right now... But I think I should refrain from doing so.
Maybe I'll blog about where I went today much later. Let me vent out my emotions here. So bare with me.
Another thing, sometimes the way I blog...I don't exactly tell you what's going on.. It's like isi tersirat'ish. I apologise for starting any frustration in anyone who is reading this.
I'm used to these kind of things happening. I've always wondered why those kind of situations always happen to me. Am I too weak? I think I came to realise why this always happen. It's because I'm too soft. I'm not firm enough and I didn't fully utilise my "rights". Sometimes I wonder, why other people don't need to be firm and yet things around them just somehow goes well. Right now I don't have the time to get the bottom of this. darn! I'm trying to write a sentence without pointing fingers to anybody...
If nothing is going to improve, I'm just going to just go ahead and do it. Let me suffer...let us suffer a little..but in the long run, I think I'll learn more. But at the same time I have to try to not let these kind of things happen again.
It's actually disappointing to find skeletons in anybody's closet. It's true, nobody is perfect. That is why we're so different..and special in our own way. Our flaws makes us who we are. But don't let that flaw become a disadvantage or something unattractive. At least try to do something about it. Don't just let it be by saying that's who you are. Yes, it's tiring to always be at your best and always try to upgrade, it's even more tiring when you've tried and have not succeed as much as you wanted. So you try again...and again...at a point until you just feel like letting go and not bother. It's good to take a breather once in a while, thats when you realised that you have improved much more that you could have imagined. That is the part where you'll feel satisfied. Isn't that more worthwhile that just standing there, trying to move but not really putting the effort to move forward and all you can say or think are excuses.
Let me stop here before I get carried away. =/
anyway, I left my memory card in Annie's laptop so I had to borrow Emily's memory card for today's trip. Because I felt so upset about forgetting my memory card I forgot to charge my camera's battery! -_____-" what a "genius" I was.
Yesterday when I came back home...I did nothing but sleep. Sleeping felt so darn good! Especially on my own bed!
I'll blog more later...
I need to finish my work...