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Saturday, 30 June 2007

long day...

hmmm...

i actually went to school today...

it is sorta an accident..i wasn't suppose to go actually but i accidently said i was going so i HAD to go..

but overall it was quite fun. we didn't really do much also...haha picked up rubbish and we're done. woohoo...

celebrated jia von's birthday in advance...it was uber fun!!! i've never laugh so much in a long time..we had steamboat..and then dessert..

a lot of jokes and laughter...even though it was a small group but it felt huge..we drew cartoons on a wall!!! coolness...haha once i got the pics i'll post it up..

here comes the yucky part...on the way home somehow i just suddenly blurted out my frustration or what was bothering me.

somehow i feel like i can't tell things to my parents. the respond i get from them is not what i thought or hoped for...i just feel so crappy.

sometimes i just want to express how i feel but i just can't because i know what their reactions will be...so why should i go through the sad or the emotional state again. it makes no sense..

FIY i'm not a kid anymore...i can actually think...sometimes when i just complain or express something it ends up me getting blame...

in my mind i would be like what the hell?? how can i tell/express to someone my feelings if they are going to be judgemental. i feel so trapped...

i can't always burden my friends with my probs...its not their burden to share and its kind of not related ish...

so what am i going to do? i rather shut myself up and bottle up then to go through the feelings and frustration...moreover i'm the youngest...and my brother's are like 7 yrs older....

i'm in a box...trapped...suffocating....the only air that i've depended on makes me feel as though its turning its back on me....choking...no air to breathe...what am i to do?

i want to cry so badly...but no tears came...

i just hope i can cry it out later...i don't want to keep all these feelings...



tomorrow is another day...
violetcraze
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